We have increasing numbers of narcissistic personality disorders in our society today. Being a narcissist, especially if you are successful in your profession, are attractive, etc. has become almost expected in our social and work worlds. There are still many individuals with tremendous integrity whom we can trust and have great characters.
Some of our greatest challenges are with narcissists within our families. The first move is to learn to recognize these individuals as narcissistic personality disorders who are not going to change. When you do the research, you learn to identify them. Even though they are direct relatives or in-laws—uppermost they are narcissists. Other family members may continue to make excuses for their cruel, dismissive and outright abusive behaviors. That doesn’t mean that you have to give them a pass. I have known of family situations where every member except one, put up with their cruel pathology, were fearful to assert themselves and berated the one person who was holding the truth. If one individual out of thousands knows the truth —–it is still the truth. We live in a time of narcissistic delusion. People are blinded by the burnished image that the narcissist perpetuates, his/her overwhelming “charm”, all of the promises that he makes and often the worldly success he has achieved. None of this makes this person a good human being. I have known of a number of family members who, despite all of the pressure placed on them, severed the relationship with this toxic human being. They were castigated, criticized and thought to be strange by other family members but they had to live with their truth and remove themselves from this deep level of psychopathology. Don’t let other people pressure you and take away your clear perceptions that a family members is a destructive narcissist. Keep your safe distance from them and when necessary remove your contact with them. There is nothing you can do to change them. They are psychologically poisonous and their constant inflammatory projections create a corrosive atmosphere. You deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. What other people think and many are misguided about this pathology, doesn’t matter. What you know deep inside about the nature of the narcissist in your family and other narcissists is what counts. Trust what you know is true. Take care of yourself and those close to you. Protect and cherish one another. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life