Growing up in a narcissistic family with siblings with the same personality disorder is beyond challenging. Mother or father narcissist (or both) has seized upon one of your siblings (or more) as the perfect living model of their excellence. From the beginning it is obvious that this child is the One. All of the attention is placed on this child. Narcissistic mother idealizes this living supply and experiences this child as a perfect replica of herself. The blooming narcissist is allowed to psychologically demean, humiliate and harm his/her brothers and sisters.
Mother dismisses her other children as inferior. She makes fun of them, tells them they can’t measure up to the chosen child and that she is too drained to listen or do anything for them. These narcissistic mothers have their priorities. The “imperfect” children are treated as servants in some cases. They do the cleaning, cooking, errands. They even pick up after the golden narcissistic child. One of the most painful incessant patterns is that they are constantly compared with the chosen one as inferior, lazy, dumb, ugly, a behavior problem, untalented, socially backward.
Those who survive this nightmare background need to take time to sort out who they really are. It certainly is not what their narcissistic mother projected on to them. That was coming from her dark unconscious. Some of them find that quality psychotherapy helps them acknowledge and experience their pain with a strong therapeutic alliance. Other forms of healing are learning to quiet the mind, gentle yoga and of course the use of your many creative gifts. Self care is the beginning of this process—getting the sleep that you need and deserve, taking time for yourself to use your creativity in every way that gives you pleasure and peace. You are rediscovering your true nature. This process continues throughout your life.