You don’t have to purposely cause physical harm to another human being to be a sociopath. No, a person can do it the “clean” way by taking your life apart, piece by piece. This includes the final cruelty of leaving you psychologically broken and financially ruined. I have heard too many of these life stories and it is vital that we understand how this happens and to reach out to those who have been left behind with unbearable traumas and sorrows that wound the heart. I know of sociopaths who took their own children away from a loving mother just for revenge. They didn’t love these kids—they are incapable of love by definition. They are vengeful and yes, evil.
I don’t care how successful they are, how beautiful, compelling, irresistible—don’t fall for the false gods of outward perfection and the quiet shrug you are tempted to give them —a big pass–pretending you don’t know intuitively that these people are, as they used to say—No Good!
Sociopaths tempt us to go over the line. They know how to appeal to our greed, salaciousness, emotional and psychological deprivations. With no scintilla of insight, they know exactly how and where to touch our weak spots and get us to collude with them. Ultimately, they want us to hand over our lives and our souls to them. They are counting on it and know it will become a reality. They have played this winning game so many times it is the air they breathe.
All sociopaths are narcissists. They have no conscience, no empathy, no mercy. Sometimes there are exceptions in their behavior but this is rare.
If you are married to a sociopath and finally out of denial and psychologically awake, decide what moves you will make without letting him/her know the plan you have in mind to end this non-marriage. Work with your inner self by learning to quiet your mind through meditation in a form that works for you. Call on those you trust–it can be one person– to help you get through the process of leaving this nightmare. Call upon your strength, determination and perseverance that have been left fallow. Summon them now. Seek your intuition all of the time. Listen closely to its messages. It is always telling your the truth and how to proceed. Be receptive and you will perceive this great gift you were given. Your path is waiting for you and calling your name. Even when the wind is blowing a gale–it is speaking calmly and clearly–”Come back to your real self.”
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
The paperback edition of Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in your Life was published today August 15, 2013.