With all of their grandiosity, no limits attitude and excessive self entitlement, the narcissist lives in a very narrow world of consciousness. He/she is highly limited. First there is no real communication with a narcissist. They do almost all of the talking—regaling you with stories (that they have told hundreds of times) about their successes in business, the size and reach of their investments, the perfection of their lifestyles, their outstanding achievements. You are trapped on a one way street. You make an effort to listen but it becomes tiring and boring. There is no reciprocation. A narcissist can speak for hours without asking you one question about yourself. If he does make an inquiry, he often is too impatient to wait for your response. You know that above all he was not listening to you. He was expanding his massive ego, talking about his favorite subject, himself.
Many narcissists spend a lot of time talking about their financial success, their material possessions, their treks, their trips, cruises, the highly important people whom they calls friends. Even narcissists who are not very wealthy but comfortable spend a lot of time and energy impressing you with their achievements. Having to sit for hours at a dining table with one of these individuals is pure hell. You feel trapped, bored, appalled and disgusted simultaneously. I remember on one occasion after this narcissist had gone on for over an hour, feeling the need to flee but unable to get up because it was a formal occasion. I needed rescue. Finally, I went into my own mind while still holding the gaze of this self absorbed narcissist and pretended that I was listening. All the while I put my imagination in another location, started taking mental notes and reminding myself of the torture that spouses, children and relatives of narcissists endure every day living with these impossible, selfish, self addicted, insensitive, umempathic people.
There may come a time in your life when you will decide you have had too much of a narcissistic spouse, parent or sibling and must sever this pseudo relationship. These decisions can be tough and they are very personal. Sometimes we have to choose between our destiny as an individual to continue evolving psychologically, intellectually, creatively and spiritually and remaining in a one dimensional non-relationship with someone who is destructive and limiting to our development on every level. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book: amazon.com and amazon kindle edition