Narcissistic Sons and Their Narcissistic Fathers–Spreading the Misery

Each narcissist has his own style. Some are brash, obnoxious, vicious, reptilian. Others are smooth, so sleek and clever that most people are taken in by them. On some occasions the narcissistic son is an absolute charmer. Bright, convivial, astute socially and driven to succeed this fellow goes far in his profession. He is capable of maintaining marital relationships as long as he is getting his necessities: obedience, praise, adulation, total agreement. He appears to care about his children as long as they come up to his high standards. He loves to brag about their exemplary school performance and their attractiveness. Socially you would never guess that this person is a narcissist. It is behind the stage after the performance that you know better. This smooth guy cannot stop talking about himself. There is no conversation with him. He regales you with his multitudinous stories that feature him as the lead actor. You hear about his professional triumphs ad nauseum. He has a loyal group of followers in  his close circle of Yes men. His focus in life is not insight, self knowing, compassion for others that he puts into action. It is economic success at the highest level. He doesn’t care whom he hurts or decimates as he climbs to the top. His ruthlessness is masked by his ready smile, quick jokes, rambling stories and his handsome appearance.

The narcissistic father is a different story. Cast as the golden child from toddlerhood he indeed is very bright. He has been tested and found to be intellectually gifted. The parents are hyper impressed. The other children in the family are ignored and left to fend for themselves.Bid Daddy Narcissist is brash, rude, insensitive and downright cruel. He makes the most cutting remarks when you are alone with him. The horrendous projections eject from his mouth like filthy vomitus. He hits you in the gut with his verbal blows. You learn to avoid his presence because you know he will corner you and let you have it. He is sadistic with his blows. Many of his family members go along with his outrageous treatment. They all say to themselves: “On, there he goes again.”  Really!!! These narcissists old or young should not be permitted to get off the hook. They are toxic and psychologically injure others, especially their unfavored children and their spouses.

Watch out for these fellows. Narcissists are increasing in numbers every day. Keep your distance from them. Maintain your ground and self respect. Keep them out of your life even if the rest of your social group or family thinks you are overly sensitive or even crazy. You know the truth about narcissists and the destruction that they cause throughout their lives.

You are taking a different path: learning about and activating your real self, using your many creative gifts, opening your heart and showing your kindness to others, learning how to quiet your mind by meditation, using your intuition to develop wisdom and inner peace. These are the real treasures and they are all available to you right now.

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

This entry was posted in narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic rage, self help. mental health and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Narcissistic Sons and Their Narcissistic Fathers–Spreading the Misery

  1. Nicole says:

    Comment:From Nicole
    Dear Mrs. Martinez-Lewi,

    I’m so happy to read your Website and I’m going to buy your book soon. I already have read some book about this theme, but your website is amazing! I suffer from a narcissistic dad who destroyed your whole family and I also suffer from a narcissistic mom, who has let her own mother die by not helping her in a very ill situation. I suffered 10 years from deep depression, because I wanted to rescue my grandma but she died. My mother and her new husband threatened me with telling me, I have a perception disorder… her new husband always helps her with everything… for about 10 years I thought I was living in a nightmare until I found book about narcissism. And finally yours! I’m looking forward reading it! Thank you for your work on it. I think you will help people like me so much you even can’t imagine!

    Thank you, Nicole from Germany

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