I have been keenly aware of narcissistic psychotherapists for many years. They come with different degrees and clinical training. Some graduate from elite, academically high rated universities. None of this matters if your therapist is a narcissistic personality. Do not judge the competence of a mental health professional strictly based on their academic background or clinical training. (There are many high quality psychotherapists who provide excellent therapy to their clients. My focus is on narcissistic psychotherapists.) (This post refers to female and male therapists.)
Many clients who go to psychotherapists are in a state of emotional and psychological crisis. They are desperate to get help. They are putting tremendous trust in the therapist they choose. After doing your homework on a therapist, you may not know that he or she is a narcissistic personality until you have been seeing them in session for a while.
Narcissistic psychotherapists are experts at pseudo empathy. They go through all the right motions. They have pleasantly appointed offices; they appear to be very professional; they come highly recommended, etc.
Always remember that you are hiring this person to help you. You decide whether the therapist is up to the task or not.
Narcissistic psychotherapists can be very charming and appear to be highly invested in your psychological welfare. This is an act that works very well for them. They charge high fees, knowing that they offer the highest quality of psychotherapy. They feel over-entitled to make as much money as they can off of their clients’ emotional and psychological pain. Narcissistic therapists raise their fees as often as possible to keep the money stream, like at great wave, always moving in their direction.
Certain clients represent their bread and butter. These are individuals who suffer from psychological abandonment. As children they experienced maternal deprivation, emotional abuse, scapegoating, gas lighting and suffered a variety of traumas. Their tendency is to develop a strong attachment to the therapist who comes to represent a part of themselves that is emotionally and psychologically damaged. These clients fuse with the therapist. The narcissistic psychotherapist manipulates the client’s pervasive emotional dependency. He may insist that the client check in with him by phone at certain times. This is done to maintain the dependency connection and to keep the client coming to therapy. The narcissistic psychotherapist does not care about the progress of his client. He is focused only on controlling this individual into long term therapy based on his heady monetary goals.
The client does not progress with healing. Rather he or she becomes more emotionally dependent on the therapist. At some point the therapist decides that this individual no longer suits his needs for narcissistic supply and manipulates these clients into an quick exit. This is done when the therapist discovers that the client no longer is able to pay his high, accelerating fees. Narcissistic therapists have no difficulty finding “replacements” who will fill their appointment books and increase their income stream.
When choosing a psychotherapist, do your research, get excellent referrals and interview several therapists. Interview them carefully, paying attention to their authentic interest and concern about your issues, their level of genuine empathy and what you are sensing about their insight and knowledge with regard to you. Also, the therapist must treat you with great respect as a very unique, valuable individual.