Healing from Narcissistic Spouse–Resurrect Your Life
If you are married to a narcissistic spouse this person has stolen too much of your life. The hours, days, months, years and decades add up quickly and the psychological and emotional pain of living with one of these impossible, psychopathological individuals takes its toll on you.
The narcissist is free and easy. Without a conscience, obsessed with self, the narcissist moves from one narcissistic supply to the other like a frenzied honey bee. (Honey bees are magnificent; they create one of nature’s greatest gifts–honey. )
Once you have broken free from the narcissist spouse and resumed regular breathing, the doors of your life open. Take time to rest and appreciate what you have accomplished. It is a great victory to leave the notorious narcissist behind. Don’t wait for an avenging angel to bring you justice.
Use the new more peaceful moments of your life to rebuild yourself on every level: physical strength, professional growth, rediscovery and use of your creative gifts, spending time alone to experience uninterrupted peace. Take time for yourself each day to quiet your mind whether this is formal meditation, prayer, reading poetry, journaling, listening to inspiring and calming music and any other activity that you choose. You are making decisions based on your needs and wants not on the demands of the narcissistic spouse.
Bring beauty into your life. Spend time with Nature—the great healer. Grow flowers and watch them bloom. Listen to the bees, the birds, the winds that blow across your face. Let Nature speak to you. Listen to your intuition. It is always present with us. Don’t override its messages.
If you have friends that have been left behind during the trials of marriage to a narcissist, reacquaint yourself with them–the keepers who are loyal and care deeply about you.
Practice self care. Eat and sleep well. Exercise in the ways that you find pleasant. Make an effort to be consistent. As the days move forward, be patient with yourself. Healing does not move in a straight line. It is a complex process. We reach plateaus and feel like we are going nowhere. That is not true. Healing is catching up with itself.
Be spontaneous–laugh, sing, dance and be silly with a friend. Feel yourself lifted, lighter and freer.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.