Treachery causes an annihilation of the self. Its natural course is psychological danger to you, betrayal and deceit. When you live and are married to a narcissistic sociopath, treachery shadows you day and night. You are never safely alone with your private thoughts and feelings. The treachery of the NS creeps cunningly into your dreams that often reoccur, warning you to get away, get out, save yourself. But you cannot listen because you are ensnared by the sociopath’s seductive ways–his promises, his rewards for “good behavior”–meaning that you do exactly what he expects of you, even if this goes against your personal principles and values. Many women are psychologically fused with socialized psychopaths and find them addictive. They flee from their lover or marital partner, only to return again and again. Each time they are a little weaker psychologically and less aware that the price they pay is with their lives–the dilution of their emotional energy, creative gifts, core sense of self, the initiative to follow their professional and personal dreams and to experience an abiding inner peace.
When you are twined with NS your life is in his hands, your thoughts are his thoughts, your heart belongs to him not yourself. He screams at you when he is projecting his noxious venom into your face. He humiliates you emotionally and psychologically when he is enraged. He gets a thrill out of hurting you as you cower and beg forgiveness for what he has done to you. The cycle of destruction is endless until women married or tethered to these men wake up and recognize that their mate suffers from a severe pernicious personality disorder that will not change. The experience with the NS leads you to the lowest depths of your being.
It is when we are at a very low ebb that the urgency of “Waking Up” becomes strong and persistent. The voice of intuition speaks clearly: now is the time to sever the non relationship with this man/woman. You are a strong independent, capable and gifted human being.Leave this regressive, pathological non relationship. Get back in touch with your real self—-the person you were meant to be.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.