Narcissistic siblings do not change. As little children they already
have become self entitled to the hilt. I remember visiting one of these
dysfunctional families. It was startling. Soon after I arrived the
parents’ four year old was hitting her little brother. The parents said nothing to her. They “woke up” for a moment and in a frail voice the mother said: “Dear, that’s not
very nice.” That’s it.
I remember that this pint sized tyrant demanded every one’s attention. She kept interrupting the adult conversation to talk about herself incessantly. The mother listened to her daughter intently. I could sense that this was very common in this household. This child was running the show.
I got reports from other relatives and friends of the family that (let’s call her Allison) had gotten worse. Her brother was the constant target of physical and emotional abuse. The parents still did not intervene. It was as if they were afraid of the tyrant in their midst. Her demands and cruelties continued and became more serious. The
little brother often hid in his room to avoid Allison the Hun. I returned to this home a number of times and found Allison to be a growing tyrant.
Many years later I was invited to Allison’s wedding. She was a Bridezilla on steroids. Her maids of honor were criticized and psychologically beaten down and told exactly what they could do and not do. They were intimidated by the bride.This full grown narcissist was now running the entire family.
Her brother was still traumatized from the years of abuse by her and obliviousness by the parents. He fortunately moved away, married and had very little contact with his abusive narcissistic sister.
If you have a narcissistic sibling, these life stories are no mystery to you. The question is: How much more are you going to take? Narcissists don’t change. They grow older and crueler. Learn to give priority to your own life, to your talents, your dreams, your personal relationships, your creativity.