Narcissistic daughters are tyrants–some by the time they are five years old or younger. Most people don’t believe this but it is true. I have seen it numerous times and heard life stories about these tiny tyrants reigning terror on the family. In some instances the mother is a narcissist and, believing that her daughter is super special and perfect, provides her with a no limits environment. She is never told “No” to anything that she does or says. She runs with her impulses. She hits, kicks, screams, intimidates, plays games, accuses, tantrums, etc. whenever she feels the urge–which is often. Dad is controlled by narcissistic mom. He is like another child. The sorry state of brothers and sisters in this household is very painful to behold. When siblings hear the voice of this tiny fiend they run for cover. She lies, connives, plots and plans against them all of the time. She gets what she wants all of the time. She doesn’t get into trouble because there are no real parents to correct her and show her a different way of behaving and thinking. She doesn’t learn what is right and wrong from her parents. She never develops empathy.
As they grow these narcissistic daughters become more demanding, manipulative, scheming, psychologically lethal. Narcissistic mother proudly announces: . “My daughter is a force of Nature.”—an ugly, catastrophic, destructive one. .
These daughters create havoc in the lives of their siblings indefinitely. Eventually, some family members realize that they can no longer deal with this level of abuse. Some research the attributes of the narcissistic personality and recognize they are reading about their tyrannical narcissistic sister. They now know what happened when they were growing up. They were the scapegoats, the worriers, the anxious ones, the forgotten, the ones who were tricked into taking the blame for anything that went wrong. How unjust to say the least.
Knowing this truth, you have the power to disengage completely from your narcissistic sister. This can be complex but realize that this sick sibling is not going to change.
Move forward with your own life. Appreciate your authenticity, your empathy, your creative gifts and your individuality. Give yourself time to heal.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.