Category: Narcissistic Personality

Narcissistic mothers have more than nine lives. When they convince you they are weak and vulnerable and you are so worried about them that you can’t sleep at night, that’s when they strike. If you go to visit them to bring whatever they must have, they look at you dismissively as if to say: “Why are you here?” or “You never come to visit me. What do you want from me this time?” No matter what you do for a narcissistic mother it will never be enough. Even when you are the child in the family who has been most devoted toward her with your actions that take away you time and energy when other siblings will not share the burden, these narcissistic mothers will talk behind your back to her other children. They are so cruel. This is because they have a severe personality disorder that you can’t cure. They are not going to change. You can find ways to cope with them if you can remain psychologically detached. This is a tall order and takes a lot of training and discipline. When you were a child it was hellish growing up with your narcissistic mother screaming at your dad all of the time. It broke your heart to watch him cower with fear like a small child himself. But he kept coming back for more. Growing up with a narcissistic mother carries a pain all of its own. If you haven’t experienced it, it is hard to explain. There is neglect, abuse, control, rage, dismissiveness and the absolute knowledge the child has that she/he will never be good enough to meet mother’s standards.

After going through these battles for so many years and paying the price—psychological, physical health issues, marital problems of your own caused by these dynamics, it could be time to say:”Enough” I will not let her pull me back down again into this intolerable inner place. I don’t deserve this. My focus needs to be on healing and becoming individuated from my mother—psychologically separate from her. This can be done. It is not easy. Sometimes contact has to be severed. In other cases there is minimal contact with rules that involve being treated with respect.

In the aftermath of making this change in your life, whatever form it takes, begin to look up rather than down. Begin with small steps–allow yourself to enjoy something each day that you love to do. Got out into your yard or look at the birds that inhabit the spaces around you. Take a walk with a friend. Develop a few relationships with people who are capable of hearing you and helping you make this transition of movement toward separating from mother. Look at all of your creative gifts. Start to use them now. Begin without being judgmental. Learn to quiet the mind through meditation or gentle yoga. Some form of aerobic exercise helps in these transitions. Aerobics makes you strong and increases your endorphins and aids sleep. Write down your thoughts and feelings. This is a freeing experience and a very creative one. Be patient with the healing process. The self is always in the process of growth. Take the obstacles out of the way and it will happen. Have faith in yourself to do this. Don’t be judgmental. Give yourself the warmth and tolerance you are always giving to others. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenaricssistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

There is a common thread that runs through many marriages to narcissists, especially when rumblings of a divorce are in the air. Before the lightening strikes it is not unusual for the narcissistic spouse to have taken all of the joint assets and whisked them away. The other partner is shocked that the narcissistic husband/wife claims that he doesn’t have any money. The non-narcissistic spouse on the other end of this dreadful dilemma is left with confusion and anxiety. The spouse who has cunningly spirited away the financial assets is a master of control who knows where every penny is. This, despite the fact that he/she may be making a huge amount of money, be it through their job or through other means, like the stock market. Trading those nio shares may have paid off bigtime for them, as it can for many. Narcissists love to brag about their wealth but when it comes down to sharing it, forget it. They dole out small sums of money to the spouse, telling them how lucky they are to be leading such a fine lifestyle. They complain if you spend even a few dollars over what you are “allotted.” Some narcissistic spouses will tell their wives that they will just have to sacrifice because times are rough. Meanwhile, the narcissistic spouse is indulging himself in every way–the more the better. Narcissists are chronic liars and betrayers—This is immutable. You cannot change these characteristics and don’t try to discuss these matters with them. They will go into projection mode and blame everything on you. Every horrible thing that ever happened to them is your fault. You don’t want to stir this up. You might not even need to stir–narcissists are projecting their venom all of the time.

Besides the financial matters, the narcissist is psychologically and emotionally eclipsing your life. With constant irrational demands, volcanic rages, criticisms that cut you to the quick and phoney crying jags–why would you waste the rest of your life with this person. Your vitality is sapped; your creative gifts are lying fallow; your sleep is disrupted. You have no inner peace.

If you decide the marriage is no longer working with the narcissist (and they don’t) create your own plan well in advance of any statements about a separation or a divorce. Make sure that you have access to all of the information about your shared finances. I have heard too many times about women in particular that have been married to a narcissistic man for decades and who didn’t know how much money was coming in from her spouse’s wages, investment or properties. Many women are financially independent today and that is terrific. But in so many instances I hear very sad stories about women who are left with no means of support. They have a few rough choices. They can remain in the hellish marriage to the narcissist or they can leave with a paltry sum of money and start all over. Many of these women are well up in age and it would be very difficult for them to find a job that will sustain them. Be wise. Beat the narcissistic spouse at his/her own game. When you have hints or intuitions that the marriage is going south, start doing your research into the finances. Before that make sure that you have as much access to community property as your narcissistic spouse. Narcissists are cunning; they can “smell” divorce papers coming. So be clever, wake up, create your plan of action in detail. Talk with an expert attorney who knows how these conniving individuals operate and how divorce law works. Become highly informed. This way you have an edge on this man or woman who will leave you (and your children) with nothing as he moves on to his next big business deal and another woman (or man) whom he will engage in the same treacherous dance. Money plays a huge part in some marriages, especially if one spouse has more than the other, or is the only one working during that time. In some cases, after getting divorced, the spouse who has access to social security benefits may have to provide financial support for the other through social security. The rules on divorce and Social Security are varied and depends on each situation, they must be gone over with by an attorney and the professionals who deal with government benefits. You can get out of this marriage, but you can also get some help along the way, it could be what you deserve after all these years.

Recognize your value as an individual. Keep yourself healthy–physically, psychologically and emotionally. Don’t wait for the narcissist to change. That is not going to happen—ever. These folks are great actors and they are clever at drawing you back in. Don’t buy it. Once you know who the narcissist is, decide if you can tolerate sharing your life with this person or if it is time for you to make the move to sever the so-called partnership. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

It is remarkable that some extraordinary individuals survive their narcissistic families. With a narcissistic mother as matriarch and a favorite narcissistic daughter who is her top lieutenant, it becomes impossible for the other children to have the psychological space and peace to grow and become accepted for themselves. Non-narcissistic brothers and sisters are both dismissed and severely punished. Behind the closed gates and doors of the narcissistic family, horrible deeds occur. The narcissistic mother exploits her children–That is the “relationship”. Those who are favored by mother are adored, indulged and given no limits–including physical and emotional abuse they perpetrate upon the younger children. A budding narcissist in this kind of perverse family constellation is often highly sadistic–taking pleasure from the pain he/she inflicts on a brother or sister. In some egregious situations, mother narcissist joins in on the abuse, even laughing and making fun of a child who is being terrorized, who is hysterical and being hurt both physically and emotionally. In some cases there is an unspoken pact between the favorite narcissistic child and the mother that cannot be broken. This union is highly pathological and represents a crime against the children who are victims. Children who grow up in these environments learn to survive by going along with the horror occurring inside of their homes every day. Often the father is psychologically weak and will turn a blind eye to the abuse perpetrated on his children by the narcissistic matriarch. These ugly confrontations by the narcissistic mother and the golden children occur frequently. Children victimized are terrified of going home. They dread what will happen to them when they close their front door and are in the midst of a chamber of horrors when anything can happen. With some children–violence begets violence and some of the brothers and sisters become physically and psychologically abusive to the other children. Everything is kept secret from the public image of the narcissistic matriarch. She is well respected in her social or church group. Her neighbors look upon her favorably. The narcissist is a consummate actor who publicly waxes sublime about how much she loves her children. She brags about how brilliant and special they are. She plays the role of devoted mother to the hilt. And most people believe her—This is astounding but true.

For many children of narcissistic matriarchs the time of reckoning comes. These children feel themselves faltering. They can no longer take the extreme abuse, the constant lies and accusations, the beatings in some cases, the unending humiliations. They make the decision to leave this very sick family. Some of them marry to escape the war zone. Others simply leave the hell home and struggle to find their way to become independent and free of this mire of psychopathology. Some children never escape and spend their lives as victims of the sadistic narcissistic matriarch and her cruel narcissistic adult children.

Those who save themselves are to be deeply commended. You have made the break. You have changed your life path. You have prevailed as an individual. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Some families have generations of narcissists who seem to pop up everywhere. There is no narcissistic gene but it is amazing to discover how they proliferate in some families. Those of you who have been emotionally and psychologically abused by narcissists in your family understand all to well.

You think of a grandmother as a loving, open and helpful person. Someone who extends herself to take care of your children–a person of great integrity–someone who can always be counted on. Enter the narcissistic grandmother and watch out. Narcissistic grannies are on a power trip that won’t stop. They may be deep into their seventies or eighties or even older but that doesn’t stop their malevolent deeds. Besides they have an advantage–they can play the super senior call. “Why would anyone pick on me. I’ve given my life to this family and what do I get, a lot of damn abuse–ungrateful children and grandchildren.” This is grandma’s skillfully honed act. (Most grandmothers are terrific. Many of them are raising their children’s kids. They are kind, highly competent, strong and have great wisdom. Many of them have important careers and many accomplishments). I am talking about the highly pathological narcissistic grandmother who runs everyone into the ground, except her pet people who are her followers and servants.

Many of these grandmothers are holding the purse strings–they control the family assets that have been accumulated. So family members feel beholden to them to get their share of the monies and properties during Grannie’s life and afterward. Children and grandchildren are treated like servants in Her Presence. Everyone is expected to be highly differential to this woman of stone or else you will be cut out of the will or lose face in the family and be exiled forever. NGs set one generations against another, brother against brother, sister against sister by telling cascades of lies constantly. She is the puppet master–a sinister trickster–playing games with the emotional and psychological well being the members of her family. Many members are in for the long haul despite all of the abuse they must take. How can they be sure that this unempathic cruel woman will ever do anything for them. After all, she plays favorites all of the time. These grannies love play “unpredictable” and causing apprehension and fear. They glory in watching everyone jump when she opens her mouth.

You have a choice with a narcissistic grannie. You can sever the relationship or let your life be eclipsed or even ruined by this prevaricating ruthless sadistic human being. You might say:”She will mellow; she is getting older.” Oh, contrarie! As narcissistic grannies advance in age they tighten up their hands and absolutely will not help or give. They must have everything for themselves and their favored children and grandchildren. For them a relationship is about money and property not feelings, love, loyalty, kindness, devotion. These words are not part of their vocabulary.

You have a decision to make. You can stay part of this ugly play written by NG or you can sever the relationship with this malicious narcissist. Leaving these family arrangements even the worst of them is difficult but not impossible. A time will come when you realize that you cannot let someone –a cold narcissist to trample on your life or your children’s or spouse. The game is over for you. You know that you have great individual worth inside yourself. You are genuine and have integrity. You will make the break despite what the rest of the family thinks of you. What matter is how you measure yourself, your growth, creativity and the genuine relationship you have with your close family. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Many children of narcissists have played the scapegoat role in order to survive childhood. This is chronically hurtful, painful and demeaning to a child. When other siblings are representing a narcissistic supply to the parent, these kids are shoved in a corner, told they are worthless, even that they were never wanted and should have been an abortion—Yes I have heard this more than once—It is despicable.

Surprisingly, many of these children find their way. They survive by keeping out of target range. Some of them spend large amounts of time with the families of friends. Others engage in solitary activities—spending time in the library, fantasy games, spending healing time with Nature, creating imaginary friends, drawing, painting, computers, writing, etc. They have creative gifts and are using them. They still take the blows of their dreadful “parents” and the budding narcissistic brothers and sisters who torture them with cruel words and threats. If this child is fortunate he has a brother or sister who protects him by communicating that he loves this person and will always be there for him.

One of the greatest days is the one when you decide you are a victim of your narcissistic parent no more. You will take no more abuse no matter what the consequences. Some young adults leave their home, go it alone and find their way. It is very difficult and frightening to be by oneself without resources but they are scrappers who are determined to make it on their own. As they grow into adulthood they recognize that they were placed into the middle of a psychological cesspool. They have left the toxic stew of the narcissistic family. We congratulate them. They have left a dreadful prison. Those set free spend time healing themselves psychologically. Many find help from excellent therapists. (A piece of advice–Be very discerning about the therapist you choose—Some psychotherapists are narcissists and will project their unconscious feelings and thoughts on to you. It’s worth taking the time to find a great therapist). Standing at the top of the hill, you have won the battle. You are strong despite the scars of your wounds. Feeling those old scars is empowering. Don’t expect other people to understand where you are coming from unless they have been through life and death battles of their own. Most individuals are in deep delusion and only want to hear “happy talk”, phony superficial chatter. You are on a road less traveled. Celebrate!!! To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissitinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.

Many women and some men speak about their traumatic and turbulent marriages to narcissists. Some of them have been married to these individuals for decades and continue to return to this abusive environment. The narcissistic spouse makes empty promises often after one of these egregious blow-ups. He might even cry and tell you what a horrible person he has been. Now he is so sorry and he desperately wants to change. He will even go into therapy to get professional guidance. ( If a narcissist goes into therapy it is for a very short time and changing himself is not the motive.)

Narcissistic spouses stray frequently and find various partners–often more than one at a time. Wives often suspect this but put it out of their minds as too painful to acknowledge. They rationalize and say—“It’s just my imagination–it couldn’t be true.” “I know he loves me.”

If you don’t go by the narcissist’s stringent rules, he/she will punish you and if you refuse to bow to his will, he will threaten to leave you and take all of the assets. This is enough to scare a lot of spouses,especially if they have been married to one of the pariah’s for a long period of time. In some cases there has been physical abuse perpetrated by the narcissist. Mostly it is a constant barrage of criticism, humiliations, barked orders, perpetual disappoint with you because you are not perfect like him. At times the narcissist goes his own way and threatens divorce, leaving you alone for weeks at a time while he is on business trips. When he returns, you are still walking on pins and needles, wondering if he is serious about a separation. Women who are financially independent often have great difficulty deciding to sever the relationship with their narcissistic spouse. They have become accustomed to the abuse. Sometimes it is a familiar reprise of their victimization as children. Beneath it all, they don’t feel worthy of someone who is empathic and kind to them.

There comes a time for many non-narcissistic spouses when they make the decision that they cannot and will not play the back and forth recycling game of the narcissistic spouse. This time they have had more than enough. They quietly make their plans without revealing them to the narcissistic spouse. They make sure that their personal finances are in order and plan their separation from this non-partner. Some of them fair well with skilled psychotherapy, the help of their friends and family and finally a focus on their own lives– professional and personal. They realize that they deserve to be respected, to live with inner peace and to utilize all of their creative gifts to the utmost. To learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

 

The truth about being raised by a narcissistic mother has not been sufficiently exposed. It is vital that we all understand the horrific experiences these daughters endure throughout their childhoods and into adulthood. Narcissistic mothers are cold, dismissive and completely self absorbed. When we need them the most they reject us, are unavailable and preoccupied with their own lives. They make fun of their daughter’s feelings, calling them “cry babies” “spoiled brats” and “demanding brats.”
Many of these daughters cannot remember ever being held or kissed by their own mothers. Daughters report that they did everything they could to get mother’s attention and care. Some narcissistic mothers literally push their children away. They refuse to hold them, listen to them or provide them with any affection. Narcissistic mothers don’t have conversations with their children. They indulge in endless monologues about themselves. They talk about their superiority, their accomplishments, how they are admired, how people admire them. Narcissistic mothers are often competitive with their daughters, especially if their child is very attractive, a superior student or has specific talents. While she tells everyone how exceptional in public (this is part of the narcissistic mother’s ego image) she works away at her child’s emotional stability by telling her she is selfish, doesn’t have a lot of friends and that she will never be able to reach her life goals.These mothers are jealous of their daughters. They are the ones who feel “less than” but this is played out in their unconscious.

As you grow up and leave your narcissistic mother’s house, the pain of having such a person as a parent is still very much in your mind. You may wonder if mother was right and there was something fundamentally wrong with you.. Eventually many of these daughters decide that their contact with mother has become deleterious to their psychological and emotional health. It is taking a great toll on them. They sever the relationship and seek no contact with the narcissistic mother. This is very difficult for many daughters since they had always hoped they would have a real mother. After moving through this period of loss, often in psychotherapy, the adult daughter recognizes that she is a separate person who has been set free and no longer has to give up her life for a selfish narcissistic woman who has abused her all of her life. These daughters discover that they have many talents, that they are strong individuals capable of making their own decisions. Some of them develop a practice of quieting the mind through yoga or meditation. This is very helpful to the healing process. They now know that they can be and deserve to be loved for themselves. Their creativity and sense of purpose moves forward and they don’t look back. They have made their lives their first priority. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Intuition is an instantaneous knowing of the truth. It is faster than rational thought. You cannot study or analyze the truth that comes forth from intuition. To get in touch with your intuition it is essential that you are in touch with your parasympathetic nervous system that part of us that represents the calming healing part of ourselves. this is both scientific and mystical. Everyone can learn to tune in to his intuition if you become receptive to this great gift.
Deep breathing through the nostrils that is done through yoga asanas is one of the ways to get in touch with your parasympathetic nervous system. Gentle yoga poses using nostril breathing calms the nervous system and puts us in a state of restoration. The more often we are consistently in this state the stronger our capacity to heal. Powers of intuition are enhanced by calming the body and the mind.

The narcissist overwhelms everyone in his environment. He is the powerful one, the ruler and controller of everyone’s life. When you grow up with or are married to a narcissist, your life does not belong to you. the narcissist has chosen acolytes. It is not unusual for narcissistic parents to pick one or two children whom they mold into perfect replicas of themselves. These individuals are conditioned to becoming false grandiose selves that develop into narcissistic personalities.

Those who are married to narcissists often wake up and realize that they are being abused, that their lives are narrowing, their options diminishing, their gifts are faded memories, their energies are sapped. They have reached a turning point. They start studying the narcissistic personality everywhere they can get this material. They open their eyes and recognized sometimes for the first time that their parents are narcissists and that they are married to a narcissist or that they have narcissistic siblings or an entire narcissistic family. They are at a decision point pivotal to the rest of their lives. They now know they can no longer live as a prisoner of the narcissist. They move step by step toward detaching themselves psychologically from this toxic individual. Some find help with skilled psychotherapists who understand the true nature of the narcissist and can form a strong therapeutic alliance that will provide them with support and insight. Developing your deep intuition is part of the freedom process. Use the techniques that work for you to become more and more receptive to your intuition. It is waiting for you to ask for assistance. The more often you use this great gift the more powerful and natural to you it becomes. Intuition is very real and can be highly developed with consistent work. It is part of your pathway to freedom and protection from the narcissist in your life and opens the doors to healing and the reclaiming of your real self. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and Intenrational
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

The worldly power of High Level Narcissistic Sociopaths is growing. The narcissistic style has become the norm among different “in” groups withing the society. It is perfectly ok if not expected to be ruthless to succeed. If you are not ruining someone else’s career so that you can get ahead, then you are not living up to your potential. This is the real attitude (not openly discussed) in many corporations. Those who make crucial decisions without regard to clients or co-workers has become the norm in many work environments.

This is also true in our personal lives. So many women and men are drawn to this personality disorder. They are charming, convincing. They are tremendous actors and sell themselves to you. They begin by focusing like a laser beam on how beautiful, handsome, brilliant, talented you are. You are the most extraordinary person they have ever met. Their magic begins like a gravitational pull we can;t resist. They are very persistent when they are after you. They are masterful at the chase and in winning you. Tremendous seducers.

Are you married to one of these individuals? Does your spouse lack empathy? Does he or she only have conscience when it means getting caught? Is he a master of lying? Is he highly critical of you despite all of your efforts? Is there always a sense of his superiority and your inferiority? Are you subject to non-stop rages that can go on and off for days at a time? Is he unscrupulous about how he makes money? Has he been responsible for causing professional and/or financial harm to others in his professional life? Are you being used by this person to enhance his image? Is there a genuine lack of affection and caring when you need support? These selfish individuals always come first even if you have been married to them for decades. Some spouses stay with the narcissistic sociopath because they are very successful and provide a very comfortable lifestyle. You are being criticized and dismissed. The narcissist is wearing you down. Your creative gifts are being squandered.

If your spouse is a narcissistic sociopath you can make the decision to stay in the “relationship” or sever it. Think about the life that you deserve–to be respected, to use all of your creative gifts, to have a sense of inner peace and privacy, to be valued for yourself. No other person can tell you what to think, what to feel and how to use your unique gifts. Learn about every facet of the narcissistic personality, Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com

When we think of narcissists the grandiose, man or woman of the hour, magnetic figure comes into our minds. Certainly there are many highly successful narcissists who fit this description.

There is another kind of narcissist I call covert whom most people would never think possesses the same fixed and destructive psychopathology as his extroverted relative. Coverts are always under cover. They appear to be meek. We see them blending into the background–always at our service. Some of them drip with compliments to us. They become instant followers. They are full of compliments They ask us questions that make us look very smart. Their body gestures are humble and self-effacing. They appear to be embarrassed by their own presence.

Covert narcissists are very sneaky. They get as much inside personal information they can about you.. They put this in their back pocket so they can use it on you later when they decide to make a power move and wipe you out. They thread themselves closer and closer into your life. This happens in many romantic relationships. The CV has done some research and realizes quickly that you are a great catch—short or long range–a week, a month or even a marriage. Coverts like to see their plans become successful. This is all done with deliberately. Narcissists don’t love anyone–always remember, they are incapable of any real real feelings for another human being that denotes affection, love, caring, etc. With their quiet ways, they draw you in. You may even feel sorry for the CV who is making a play for you He or she is awkward and you think this is innocent and charming. Finally you fall hard, especially if the intimacy card is well played. If you are just coming off of a painful divorce and breakup, all the better for the CV. You are very vulnerable.

The CV treats you like royalty–Anything you want honey? I’m here for you 24/7. This is so appealing to most women. “What a selfless kind person this is?” “Finally, someone I can trust.” None of this is true but you don’t know that yet. Months go by and everything is wonderfully intense and exciting. Not long and the marriage plans are made. After you have been together for a while you start to notice that the sarcastic remarks are pointed at you more frequently, the accusations are coming more rapidly; you see his lips curl more often. But then he’s all sweetness again and you are thrown off. He tells you a story that you believe. He has been having a rough time financially—some bad breaks due to unscrupulous people that took advantage of him. You believe him and give him access to your private bank accounts. They are placed in both of your names. He has already researched your family’s monetary worth and becomes very chummy with your parents. They trust him completely as well. Time moves forward but the nature of the narcissist does not change. You are being betrayed and keep making excuses for his lack of attention to you, his dismissiveness. One day when you least suspect it, he decides you are causing him too much stress and the answer is a divorce. You can’t believe it but it is true. You have been set up all of this time. He hires a very tough attorney and fights you cunningly. As a result he ends up with half of all the assets. Weeks later in the aftermath while you are wiped out from the horror of this experience, he has flown out of town on the winds–of course with the goods he intended to take from you minutes after he met and seduced you. This happens frequently with CVs. They have such great cover and a masterful act. To protect yourself from the covert narcissist, research the narcissistic personality. Visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com